How Letting Go of Control Changed My Investments and My Life

It’s hard to give up control. Scary, I mean. But every time I take a calculated risk to give up control for more freedom, I make progress toward my biggest life goals.
This is because you cannot have both freedom and complete control. You need to be selective—in your real estate investments, in your business (if you have one), and in your personal life.
We run a Facebook group with nearly 50,000 active home owners and investors. Whenever we talk about real estate investments, we get a lot of pushback from them. It all boils down to one objection: “I want complete control over my investment.”
My days of arguing with people on social media are long behind me. But if I was going to bother trying to change their minds, I would explain to Ellie Jurassic Park: “You have no control in the first place. That is an illusion.”
Here’s how my own struggle for control versus freedom played out, so you can think about your decisions moving forward.
Commitment to Move Overseas Without Knowing Where You Are
At the beginning of 2015, my bride came to me about moving abroad. He knew I was wandering, and he was curious about living in another country. He signed up with a recruitment agency for international schools, and we decided to commit to doing it. We flew to Boston for a weekend job fair in February, knowing you’d get the job by the end of the weekend.
Within 24 hours, he had many schools around the world, and we decided to take one from the school in Abu Dhabi. We figured we’d have a two-year tour, then come back to Baltimore and pick up where we left off.
That happened about 10 years ago and three countries ago.
We spent four years in Abu Dhabi, four in Brasilia, and continued for two years in Lima, Peru. We also spent a month at a time in places like Genoa, Prague, and Patagonia.
Each time we moved to a new country, we faced the same uncertainty: We had to jump in without knowing where we would end up.
Relinquishing Control as a Real Estate Investor
When we moved to Abu Dhabi, I still had 15 rentals. I soon realized how much I was supporting those buildings with my work.
Even though I had a property manager, I still dealt with contractors and city inspectors, got calls from tenants, and had to make sure the accounting and bookkeeping was accurate. I had to deal with the manager.
I thought I was earning 5% to 8% a year on those rental properties. But when I calculated the cost of my time, I actually was loss money to them.
The difference was especially striking when I compared my employment to my stock investment—a passive investment, earning an average of 10% per year.
So I sold all my rentals. But I love real estate, and I still want to invest in it.
Transitioning to Passive Real Estate Investments
I’ve invested in a few public REITs, but I didn’t like the volatility once keeping up with stock markets. Then I started trying real estate crowdfundinginvesting through twenty two platforms. But I realized that public investment pays market dividends by definition: you buy and sell at market prices, earning whatever the market allows.
Then I got the secret, property investment. That started with secret notes, then independent relationshipthen agreementsequity funds, and debt funds.
Not everyone can invest in them. In fact, most people have never heard of them, and when they do, they don’t understand them well. Read: competitive advantage.
But I didn’t like the very small investment, usually $50,000 to $100,000. So at SparkRental, we started trying to get into this together, first with our course students, and later as an investment club that anyone could join. Today, we explore new investments together every month, and any member can invest $5,000 or more.
I do not operate any of these properties or have direct ownership over them. I don’t manage tenants or talk to contractors and inspectors and permits. We just pool our group’s investments together and put the money in, then sit back as the distribution or interest comes back to us. And my return has never been higher.
Relinquishing Control as an Entrepreneur
As an employee, you ask, “How can I create so much value for my employer that they will pay me more to avoid losing me?”
As an entrepreneur, he reframes that question to say: “How can I create so much value for my customers that they keep coming back to me?”
There is nothing wrong with that question. In the early days of any business, the founder has to do many different jobs and wear many hats to get the business off the ground. But if you want to grow your business and help more people, you need to remove yourself as a barrier.
Rephrase the question: “How can I make a self-regulation business that creates so much value for my customers that they will keep coming back to it?”
In other words, you make yourself irreplaceable—i directly which is against your goal as an employee. That’s hard to wrap your head around, even if you find it logical.
After eight years in the business, I finally started to get this lesson through my hard skull. My co-founder and I have spent this year planning and executing SparkRental, so that it can operate without us for weeks if needed.
That allowed us to continue working uninterrupted when my co-founder had an unexpected surgery, and when my family and I were traveling around Uruguay.
I have more freedom in my business now than ever, because I have given some “control” to others.
Action Creates Clarity and Courage
If you wait until you have it all figured out, you will never take action. You will always be stuck where you are. By taking action, you can start moving in the right direction, even if you don’t know exactly where you want to go.
Of course, roadblocks will appear on the way, and you will have to find a way forward. You can decide to take a different route or adjust your destination directly.
That’s right. You can and should make changes as you go. The key word here is “go away.”
Control Or Freedom?
I had more control over my rental properties than I do over my savings now—and all the good that did for me.
Today, I delegate the daily decisions of asset management and control to other people. Among my real estate investments, that means choosing operators I trust to deliver strong returns even if unexpected challenges arise (as they always do). In my business, that means delegating not just tasks, but entire projects and goals to employees, freelancers, and virtual assistants.
I give up control—but I gain freedom. That includes not only freedom of time, working when and how I want, but also freedom of location. I can (and work) anywhere in the world.
Increasingly, it drives my development forward financial freedom like that. I earn more from my passive investments than I do from my direct investments. My business earns more when I outsource than when I try to do everything myself.
Even people who understand that intellectually still struggle to give up control over their lives, however. It certainly took me a long time to have the courage to let go of control. It’s always a work in progress, but by taking the first steps, I get comfortable with less control and more freedom.
As you put your life under the microscope, ask yourself where you would like more freedom—and how you might need to give up some control to achieve it.
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A Note About BiggerPockets: These are the views expressed by the author and do not necessarily represent the views of BiggerPockets.
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