So you’ve joined the ranks of the enlightened, who want to retire early, move to another country, or restructure their lifestyle, and now you want your spouse or partner to go along with it?
Not so fast! Although winning friends is easy, influencing people is more difficult, but it can be done. I’m a bit of a stickler when it comes to dating, but I’ve still learned a thing or two.
The first and most important thing is that a person sounds more intelligent and wiser if you agree with what they say.
. Most people listen to other people primarily to confirm what they already know and to be reconfirmed in their beliefs. This is not a very logical thing to do, but many people are like that probably because humans are social animals. This means that if you suggest something, which is very different from what they already know, they will think that you are ignorant and an outsider. If you keep pushing, they’ll think you’re stupid, a stupid person is someone who doesn’t know anything and doesn’t want to change his ways.
So make it known that you have this information by talking about it right away. Let them come to you when they are ready.
If you don’t believe me, try opening an election debate. The candidates may be equally intelligent, but do they sound that way to you?
Most people (especially children) will follow your example rather than your suggestions (if they follow at all). Children will follow almost any example (and believe anything you tell yourself, so be careful there), but adults are already calculated and usually want to follow their example rather than yours unless it’s clearly clear that your way is better. In other words you must be able to show a clear difference between your way and their way.
This means you have to create a visual difference to show that there is something else (and build credibility). When your spouse is ready, he will come very quickly. For example, you can create a savings account or what people with debts, work trusts and other debts call an emergency fund. Once your spouse has mastered the concept, start talking about how your “emergency fund” will support you for, say, 5 years, and whether you’re thinking about changing jobs or taking a long break. A 5-year fund is in another category entirely. It is qualitatively different because it gives you many possibilities. The general fund for 6 months is only meant to pay your bills while you go looking for another job because you have just been fired or to carry while you are on long sick leave Those, who only focus on those problems will have a hard time. they wrap their heads around more time and more opportunities. However, if your spouse’s E-fund is only for 6 months, but he is starting to think that his lifestyle is bothering him, he will probably start saving more so that he can have the same options as you.
If your accounts are combined, you say you would prefer to save money whenever they propose expenses. Just suggest that you split the money between his and hers and if she wants to buy something, that’s fine, but keep the same amount of money for savings. After a while, you can start talking about the interest you earn. One thing that often gets people going is when I talk about how my average savings compare to a full-time job at Walmart and what that means for that person to work for me. I can put this in sharp words and use words like mortgage and credit and it seems to make people think.
If you want your spouse to take some change, another thing you can do is find something he is used to. For example, DW couldn’t see himself living in Tumbleweed House (my original show), so I started talking about boats. Then someone suggested RVs. Now unlike me, DW had actually been in an RV and lived in a mobile home park at some point so he was familiar with those and wasn’t against the idea. If he wasn’t, I think the alternative would be to start camping and make the trip longer and longer and then I would combine this with the suggestion that if we started camping full time we could cut our budget in half.
more than 10 objects away, probably closer to 20). Get used furniture and make this a habit for you. Say that this month your expenses are completely covered by income from your investment accounts. Cook a meal that costs only $1 but tastes the same as a $10 meal. Over time you may start talking about not needing to work anymore because you have enough money to retire.
I’m not sure trade-off is the right term. Sometimes I exchange 1-1. Sometimes, I give to person A and receive from person B making sure to give more than I receive to maintain a “fair” trade balance. I am working on this theory of karma
🙂
None of this guarantees success, but maybe, just maybe, one day your spouse will have a problem that is better solved by one of your solutions and you’ll be there.
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